jesus christ, vampire hunter!

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter!

With a title that, you can't go wrong... If you're me. I absolutely loved this
film! Some will likely not, as it is cheesy, cheeky, hokey, stupid, and blasphemous.
everything is OK.
From the makers of "Harry Knuckles", comes an action movie for all who
can handle ridiculousness. Jesus in modern day, in sneakers, clean shaven,
is a martial arts guy who fights street gangs run by vampires, hangs with
lesbians.
Thank you for suggesting this one to me. I don't even know where to go
with this. It's so dumb, that I couldn't stop laughing through most of it.
Definitely a movie for those of you who watch shitty movies with a couple
friends and rip it apart, ad-lib, and whatnot. Except this movie is intentionally
the way it is, so you don't need to. Just enjoy.
It never really explains itself, but Jesus and vampires are arch enemies?
Almost everyone that dies in this movie is an extra in a few other scenes,
sometimes the same scene. Some die several times in one scene.
They have a Mexican wrestler, who is pals with Jesus.
Sexual tension between Jesus and a lesbian?
All vampires are lesbians?... Well, I guess that makes sense...?
Pointless sneaking!!!! (my favorite part)
Clever disguises.
Stakes through the heart. (these scenes really do make the whole movie)
And somehow, it looks like it was made in 1992, but is, in fact,
from 2001.
I LOVED IT!
The best way to describe this would be that conversation we've all
had with some friend that went something like this:
"If i was making a movie, I'd have a full body puppet ride a motorcycle into a hotel lobby and demand to be manager,
then he'd have to fight all the porters, cuz they're ninjas!"
"Yeah, that'd be great! And Satan would be the bellhop, and
he'd have to judge to see who wins, and if the puppet wins,
Satan pimps his ride!..."

-Sleeve-