Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall

So, I thought previously that I'd totally recalled this one, but it turns out I only have partial recall.
I'm glad I watched this one again. I'll be rating this one in recalls:

Unrecalled: Written by Philip k. dick, (a scanner darkly, bladerunner...)

Partial recall: A fat woman saying "Two weeks! TWO WEEEEKS!!!" and pulling her mouth open with her fingers until she reveals she is not a woman.

Mild recall: Midget with 3 bewbs!... WRONG! I seemed to have mashed two memories of this film as one. The midget (little person, sorry)girl in this film only has 2 bewbs! There is a woman with 3 bewbs who works in the same strip club, but the point is that I was wrong. And I've had this memory for
years. Huh... Ain't that some shit?...

Total recall: Arnold!!!! Yeh, the fucking governor! Bwaaahaaahaaa! Remember when he used to swear in movies? I do! It still makes me giggle a little every time.

Totally uncalled for: Arnold trying to sex up his wife in the film. We don't need to see that! This scene is best on it's own as a fetish vid for muscle freaks who don't care about context. You know, the gay who feel the need to prove their heterosexuality by beating up gays. Right. It makes no sense. Just come out, already!

Anywho; I'm back on the review. Sorry about that.

Mini recall: Arny is a dude who is unhappy on earth and obsessed with visiting or moving to mars. It's the future after all! He sees a commercial for a company that implants fake memories to give you a vacation from reality, but you, of course, recall it as though it was a real vacation.
"Two weeks in an hour. You don't even have to take time off work!" pretty cool thought without the complications of delusion that would likely happen if this were real.

I like to assume that the future is in the year 2000!!!! This
is mainly due to all of the times that movies had the future be based in 2000. I love seeing how different the year 2000 is in films. Did you know that we all drive in flying cars now? We've been doing this for years and I've never noticed... Funny how unobservant I can be.

So, here's the spoiler: For those of you who have had this conversation, (and I know some of you have.) The answer is ... DREAM! After seeing this film almost 20 years ago, and having had this conversation 15 years ago, it's baffling to me how blatantly obvious it is in the film.

Total recall: The conversation: (paraphrased)

"Yeah, Total Recall!! Haha! The midget with 3 tits! Right on! I'd totally bang her!"
"Well, yeah! We all would! How often does that opportunity present itself?"
"Not often enough, that's how!"
"True dat!"
"True, true..."
"True..."
(this goes on for like an hour, so I'll skip to the relevant part)
*time elapse to exactly like an hour later*
"So, there is some question at the end as to whether the whole film is a dream, or whether it is reality."
"Really? How so?..."
"Well, he goes to the place to implant the vacation memory, but something goes wrong, and then the adventure happens, and at the end they even mention 'What if this isn't real?', and then the credits roll..."
"Well, if you recall (pun total intended), when he's at the place, one guy total remarks 'Oh, a blue sky on mars. That's new.', or something to that effect. And at the end, mars gets oxygen and causes the sky to change from orange to blue. That's the whole deal."
"Yeah, but maybe that happened anyway."
(the conversation then turns back into everyone's total unrecalled memory of the movie having a midget girl with 3 jugs. We all have this memory! How can it be wrong?!?...)

So, back to the spoiler: Dream! Without any question. I just watched this mewvie again, and it is total really not real. It is a dream. I total unrecalled that he had asked not just for a vacation, but to be a secret agent, plus the blue sky on mars comment, plus the whole story and it's very obvious signs to put my mind at ease and lay this question to rest.

Total remiss: The writers, perhaps not the original, but the screenplay at least, call an issue with the memory implants a "schizoid embolism". I'm going to try to ignore the word "schizoid" and focus instead on the embolism. An embolism is a closure or blockage of a blood vessel which could
result in a burst and internal hemorrhaging. According to this movie, you can THINK your way out of such a thing by REASONING with your dream. Another oversight in the like is that partway through the flick, the guy from the vacation implant company commercials enters to talk to Arny about his "schizoid embolism". This, again, proves beyond any doubt that the whole movie is his vacation memory the whole time, and not reality, so there should be no question by the end.
Especially when the sky on mars becomes blue.

So, on the writing spectrum, I give this one a "Total Retarded", not just for being really obvious, but for the cheese. Mind you, I'm a fan of cheese, but cheese should never be taken seriously, and I feel that they were trying to. At that, they failed.

On the cheese/pun/action factor, I give this movie a "Total Right-on!" Because it is unintentionally funny, which kept me entertained in almost every scene. The acting wasn't much, the dialogue was amusing, and fuck it! It's the year 2000! I love seeing what the future is like!

Total Reviewvied,
-Sleeve-