my bloody valentine 3D

BWAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAhaaaa...haaaa.aaaa...haa.a.

Uh, yeh... hahaha.. ha.

OK, for real this time:

IT'S A GOOD FUCKING THING THIS MOVIE WAS SHOWN IN 3D!

There! I said it! Jesus, what a pile of newt shit! I had a blast at this
one! Not because the movie was good. It was very not good!
I went with my friend, Moses, and we both got what we expected! My
bloody not bloody fucking much!

OK, the 3D was cool. I'll give it that, but that had nothing much to do
with the movie itself. 3D stuff is cool on it's own! I could have been
watching an Ann Murray concert and enjoyed the 3D, if I didn't kill myself
before she got to her 3rd song... So, that aside, it's back to the movie.

Before I continue, I'd like to answer a couple questions:

1. Yes, the 3D was absolutely needed.
2. Yes, there was obligatory nudity.
3. Yes, I tried to touch a 3D boobie. When else will I get the chance?
4. No, you cannot feel the 3D boobie. You are wasting your time trying.

I don't recommend this film unless purely for the 3D experience.
In fact, I pity this movie if they don't figure out how to properly 3D for home,
because without the 3D, you get this:

A bunch of teens are hanging out and partying at a dangerous mine, of course! Some miner
gets pissed and kills a few teens, some escape and a couple townsfolk who were there for no
apparent reason, and didn't bother breaking up the party, just off the killer.

Some news articles and nealy ten years later, the killings start again, seemingly the
killer from ten years ago. But, he's dead... Or is he?...

I'm trying my best to not give you too much here, but my pal, Moses, figured out
the ending within the 5 minute intro sequence. Maybe you will too. Probably. It's
pretty obvious.

So, expect "Aw, fuck! I already know the ending! Goddammit!" And also go like we did,
in the mindset that this film is going to have terrible acting, bad writing, and
no substance. Some of the gore was OK, but the real saving grace, again, was the 3D.

Also, please enjoy the scene where the girl is at the hospital and gets a call from the
front desk... on the triage nurse's CELL PHONE! She agrees to meet a guy who does not reveal who he is, and when her
fiance shows up at the hospital, the nurse knows who she left with, by name!!

Also, really enjoy the scene where they are driving at night, and the girl goes into a place
and almost immediately notices something being lit by the daylight's shining sunrays glowing through the
window!!! This didn't even seem like an accident! It was actually written into the plot that
the light beam onto something, but it was suppose to be night. Jesus!

I can't go on any more without pissing on my own keyboard, and I like my keyboard, so I'll leave it at that! Fuck!

-sleeve-