The Hangover (2009)

The Hangover (aka don't go to Vegas with several people with an expensive borrowed car
and weirdo guy and get drunk cause you never know what's going to happen, except in this
movie where you pretty much know what's going to happen the whole time. Aka Titanic)

Plot: Dude is getting married. Dude's pals decide to take him to Vegas
for one last crazy time before he gives up his life. Everything goes
wrong, they lose the groom and can't recall what happened. Now:

Where do you start with this one? I'll tell you, just like they did!
FORESHADOWING!!!! Lets not leave anything to surprise for this one!

New name for this film: "Take my EXPENSIVE REALLY NICE CAR on vacation with you, and MAKE SURE NOTHING HAPPENS TO IT! IT'S MY BABY!!! And oh, you have to bring
my son with you, and watch out for him, CUZ HE'S A LITTLE WEIRD! AND
DON'T LET HIM DRINK OR GAMBLE!" So, you know that nothing will happen to
the car, and the weird guy will be fine, and won't drink or gamble...
or will it??... Keep watching to find out!!!! You may as well watch Colombo
where they show you who murdered the guy right off the bat, and the real
mystery is why you're still watching for the next hour.

Then, of course, they felt the need to also cram down our throats that
the timid guy of the group is a dentist and obeys all the rules and has
perfect teeth and that his girlfriend is a controlling bitch who cheats on
him. So, you know nothing will happen to his teeth, or compromise his
relationship as he will continue playing by the rules... (... yeah...)

Okay, I know I'm coming across as a dick here, for those of you who keep
telling this movie is HILARIOUS, but I can't help but rename it again.
Its new name is: "Whatever you do, don't open the closet door! Why can't we open the closet door? What happens if we open the closet door? Is he opening the closet door? he IS opening the closet door! UH-OH!!!! HE OPENED THE CLOSET DOOR!!! LAUGH NOW!"

I wouldn't be so sarcastic to this film if they hadn't laid out all the jokes for
me before they happen as well as the recycling of old jokes from 80's movies.

This film is basically 'Ferris Bueller's day off' with swearing mixed with
'3 men and a baby' with drinking.

Actually, I was so disappointed that I could predict what would happen in every
scene that I'm just going to keep renaming it.

It is now called "Ferris Beuller's Bachelor Party and a Baby".

The entire film is like this:

"Should we take this guy with us? He's a little weird."
"He's fine. He'll be fine. You'll see..."
"OMG! HE'S DOING A WEIRD THING! OMG" *genetic defectives in audience laugh*

"Be careful with the car."
"Not to worry. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN??......"
"Something happened to the car! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!" *morons in audience laugh*

"You should cheat on your girlfriend like she keeps doing to you."
"I couldn't possibly. I play by the rules and have perfect teeth. I'm a dentist and shit."
"Hey. last night, you married a girl in Vegas and pulled your tooth out." *retards in audience laugh*

The whole film! They did this with every detail! They mentioned it like we're all
children, then overdid the emphasis in a very 'home alone' style. If
you find this movie HILARIOUS, please go back to watching 'America's Funniest Home Videos' and stop telling me what films you think I'll love. I did not love this film, nor did I find it funny. I smirked ONCE near the end, but I think it was partially due to the fact that it would be over soon.

sorry.
-Sleeve-